I enjoyed standing behind her with a fine view of her beautiful hair, lustrous skin and the deep valley between her jutting bubbies.She drew an arrow on one of her inked roads. "Perhaps ten or twelve miles this way," she said. "Did you eat?"I nodded and thanked her."I have not thanked you," she said. "That was an amazing performance back there, truly amazing. You are a butcher, sir, a veritable butcher." She cocked an eyebrow at me."I had this," I said, patting my scabbard."Yes, but, well," she said. "You might get halfway to Princeton if you start now." She stood up straight and looked out the window.I wondered what her hurry was. She seemed very ill at ease."You can take any riding horse that suits you," she said, offering me her hand and holding my eyes briefly, a tiny smile and worry lines both on her face. Then she said, "Damn!"I followed her glance and saw three riders followed by a fancy carriage clatter into the back yard. They were both British Hussars and a Hessian cavalry. 5 kids, golf club membership. I had everything but the family, and my "wife" was a cardboard cutout with a big hole where the face belonged. And I had tried to just paste Saya's face into that hole, to wedge her into a set role in my life. But people don't work that way.I waited, and thought, and waited some more. I waited until my brain physically hurt from the overuse, until deep down I knew that Saya was truly gone, and I was alone. I must have stood in that spot for over an hour, long enough to see that her flight had taken off. Finally, I accepted it.I turned and strode from the terminal with a purpose. There was more to life than my 'perfect concept'. My life after this love would begin again.Thursday I was back in the office, running on autopilot. Everyday existence was boring and mundane. I had been totally dependent upon the one light in my life, and Saya was gone. My car, my home, all the rest brought me no relief.I had to start over. But this time there would be no mourning.
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